Read a bitch.
How do you read a bitch properly? There are nuances. There are techniques to embody. But the real way to read a person is to have information on them, next to seeing what you are faced with at face value. Do you see someone with acne? It might be tempting to immediately spot these spots, but if you master the art of alluding to it in a more coveted and subtle way, your reads will become instantly more powerful.
You can destroy them with a read that well… if you want to really bring them all the way down: “You should go back into the closet, and if you hang yourself with a tie, that would be considered a contribution to humanity, but only if it’s a closed casket funeral. You might even get a medal.”
Or a simple read using the word little makes everything shady. “yeah sure, wear that little dress.”“Oh go hang out with your little friends.”“Your little idea is great.”
But the best reads are when they don’t realize they’ve been read till after a while. “Glad you’re talented at something.” “Girl you finally figured it out”
You can have a joke as a read “Are you a Windows update? Because not now.”
A crowd pleasing read needs to be simple enough that even the dumbest of people can figure out what it is that you just meant, but if you’re going in it might have to take them a minute to realize they’ve even been read. A read needs to be personal. What you need to do, is find that flaw and make it worse than it is. You seemingly need to leave all respect behind and go in. You should only read people that feel comfortable with you, on an equal plane, but that’s when you’re jokingly reading someone.
Straight people.. Straight people might not be able to recognize a read and just see it as a comment, it has no bearing on your cleverness. Just a jab.
What a punch in the straight boy world is, a shady read is in the LGBTQIA+ world. We read as a jab, a joke, just a funny that most times isn’t supposed to be taking that seriously. That’s just our humor. Want to insult someone for real, you got to be personal. Hit them where it really hurts.
The difference between shade or a read?
Shade is a subtle insult, and a read is a direct attack. Some shade isn’t even detectable till later when you think about it, but a read is something you do in a moment, and they need to be aware of it.A read will leave you with a gasp, shade is supposed to be more underhand. A read: “Oh girl, that dress makes you look like Audrey Hepburn didn’t survive the hunger winter.”Shade: “I don’t know her” (but you actually do) those are just simple concepts, but your own intelligence can make it as good as it can get.Don’t come for a bitch if you know she can win though. You have got to know how to pick your battles, if someone is better with words, you need to know how to use your face. Side eye sometimes wins over some shady comment, it’s always about being the better person. Even if being the better person is about being the pettier person.
Don’t start the fight hun, but always make sure you won the fight.